A man has revealed how he told his parents they could pay for his forgiveness after their long-standing fallout.
In a post on Reddit’s popular r/AmITheA****** forum, the 34-year-old using the handle u/Professional_Rub4448 explained how the relationship had been in the past.
“My parents expected me to be independent the minute I turned 18. They gave me the money they had saved up for my education and they started charging me rent,” he said.
“I was lucky enough to have a partial scholarship and I found a job in the city my university was in so I moved there before the school year began.”
After leaving home for college, he said he barely ever spoke to his parents, noting that he was busy building a life. Meanwhile, his siblings did not face the same treatment as they were allowed to stay at home for much longer and were given more support.
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But recently, things had become difficult after an argument had broken out.
“I am 34 now with a decent job and a great girlfriend whom I will be marrying this summer. I sent my parents and siblings an invitation. They called me to ask why they were not involved in the wedding,” he said. “I responded that they hadn’t really been part of my life in 16 years and that I was being nice by inviting them.”
The parents admitted they felt they had made mistakes in the past, but said that their son should get over it.
“Against my fiancée’s advice, I sent them an itemized bill for everything I paid for myself that they freely gave my brother and sister. I said if they wanted to be a part of my life they had to ante up,” said the poster. “They said that they cannot afford that because they are in debt still from helping my siblings out. I laughed at that and said I hoped that I would see them at the wedding and hung up.”
But since hanging up on his parents, the man was questioning his actions, wondering if he had been too harsh.
“The thing is that I don’t want their money,” he said. “And I don’t want anything from them at all other than their attendance at my wedding. If they can’t do that then I’m fine with our yearly phone call.”
Navit Schechter, a cognitive behavioral therapist and founder of the mental health support firm Conscious & Calm, told Newsweek: “It’s completely understandable that this person might feel hurt by his parents’ actions. If he felt that being treated differently than his siblings made life harder for him or that he didn’t get what he needed from them, then until he’s able to process this experience, it’s understandable that this could continue to cause him to feel hurt.”
With over 12,000 upvotes and more than 2,300 comments, the online reaction to the family argument overwhelmingly backed the man over his reaction to his parents.
“NTA (not the a******),” said one comment. “Maybe the itemized bill was a bit much but I imagine it was cathartic for you—your parents haven’t been around in a decade and a half.”
Another user wrote: “I wouldn’t even have invited them at all. These people that kick out their kids at 18 are unbelievable.”
Schechter said that although the bill may have made the poster feel better, it probably wasn’t the perfect solution to fixing the relationship.
“He may feel that his parents were being more ‘fair’ if they paid him the money, but it’s unlikely that his parents paying his itemized bill would help to heal his emotional pain and hurt in the long term,” she said. “It would be nothing more than a short-term fix and it sounds like the son getting married was aware of this.”
Newsweek has reached out to u/Professional_Rub4448 for comment. We were not able to verify the details of this case.