A Diagnosis Shattered Our Retirement Plans and Now We Can’t Afford Our Home

Dear Newsweek, my husband is 73 years old and was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment about a year ago and retested at length this summer. The testing now shows progression of Alzheimer’s or other dementia.

Having two master’s degrees and a good career up to the age of 50, suddenly, the company he had worked for, for almost 15 years, was purchased and most of our savings were lost.

The next 15 or 20 years only yielded spotty employment. He spent many hours every week applying for replacement positions. He ultimately wound up doing some management consulting when it was available.

I was at home raising children and then a couple of grandchildren, and only worked part-time in my own field. I am now retired but without pensions since I was self-employed. It was hand-to-mouth, and we had some very close calls in terms of nearly losing our home, after having rented for a decade since the original downsizing.

My husband has Medicare which will not pay for much of his dementia care. We have an adult child with a chronic disease who resides with us, and who will remain dependent upon us for the foreseeable future, making downsizing impossible for us.

Our townhouse is in a high-tax area with an association fee, in part, in order to be near a couple of grandchildren, and is near transportation to the city and airports, for when we thought that employment was still possible for my spouse. It did make it possible to commute to the few projects he was able to get throughout the last 23 years.

We have looked into selling our townhouse and moving, and that has been cost prohibitive/virtually impossible for a variety of reasons that include interest rates and having nowhere to go that we can afford. Our relatives live at a distance and are unable to help for a variety of reasons.

Cynthia, Illinois

‘You Do Have Options’

Jason van den Brand is the CEO and founder of Wellahead, a company aimed at helping families in crisis situations afford care and keep hold of their homes. The entrepreneur is based in San Francisco.

This is such a painful family situation, wrestling with financial challenges while simultaneously handling your husband’s health setbacks. My heart goes out to you. Unfortunately, it’s quite common—every year, 10 percent of Americans experience some form of shock, whether it’s health-related or due to job circumstances, and these moments really add up.

The most important thing is to take a moment to step back and understand all your options, and you do have options. First, let’s clearly define the financial goal you’re trying to achieve: staying in your home, while securing funds for homeowners association (HOA) fees and property taxes.

Next, you should familiarize yourself with the benefit programs available in your state, and in your financial portfolio. Are there any care policies that you and your husband have purchased? If you have long-term care insurance, consider filing a claim to cover some of the expenses associated with your husband’s care. Do you have life insurance policies?

Depending on the policy you have, you may have access to paid-in funds. If either of you has military service history, explore your local veteran benefits. In addition, your state may also have programs designed to help people like your husband get care specifically for cognitive impairment. Depending on your state and the options you have, it’s also likely a good time to start exploring Medicaid enrollment, which is typically done with the assistance of an Elder Law attorney or social worker.

Beyond benefit policies, your home equity is likely a significant asset. There are a myriad of options to cash out some of that equity, depending on how much equity you have and how much you need on a monthly basis.

Here are a few examples that might be applicable in your case:

1. Sale leaseback: You can sell your home to an investor or landlord and continue living in it as a renter while having equity available for your needs.

2. Home equity conversion mortgage (HECM): This option can help you remove your monthly mortgage payment and possibly get a cash-out, using the monthly savings to pay for care.

3. Home equity investor: Consider selling a portion of your home’s equity to an investor while retaining ownership of the rest.

4. Home Equity Line of Credit (HELOC), which allows you to borrow against your existing equity and pay interest only on the amount you use. It’s similar to a large credit card, but with tax advantages.

The most important advice we have is to get help in navigating these choices; there are nuances and trade-offs to all of them, and you want to make sure there are no surprises to add to an already difficult situation. In addition, some of the home equity options work better with certain benefit programs—an elder law attorney or another certified financial partner can help you make that determination.

‘Help Your Husband Recover His Memory’

Robert W. B. Love is a neuroscientist who focuses on the prevention of Alzheimer’s disease.

First, I am very sorry for what you are going through. That sounds very difficult and stressful. The good news is that there are many low-cost, and zero cost, things that you can do to help your husband recover his memory, and prevent Alzheimer’s disease for yourself.

First, I would start with exercise. The best exercise for your brain is 20-30 minutes of aerobic activity, outside, as soon as you wake up. Being outside in the morning sun, without sunglasses, helps set your circadian rhythm for the day, which improves memory, energy, sleep and brain function.

The morning exercise will help improve memory, increase blood flow to the brain, and can even stimulate neurogenesis, the growth of new brain cells. Research from Kirk Erickson and colleagues at the University of Pittsburgh found that seniors who exercised regularly actually grew a bigger brain, compared to seniors who only did stretching.

Another free thing you can do that improves physical health, reduces stress, and is great for your brain is giving or receiving hugs. Hugs are wonderfully beneficial for our nervous system. A long hug with someone we love releases feel-good hormones that reduce stress and are neuroprotective.

Next, getting proper sleep is essential for brain health. Sleep is when our brain wires up new memories and when it gets a literal cleansing. The glymphatic system helps wash away plaque and toxins in the brain while we sleep.

To improve the quality of your sleep, turn off your phone, TV, and computer one or two hours before bed, and give yourself at least an eight-hour window for sleep. A nine-hour window is even better. Sleep in a cold dark room free of electronics. A good temperature is 65-70 degrees F.

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, do things to reduce your stress. Exercise is very helpful for this. Breathwork is very helpful for this. Also things like meditation and mindfulness.

Is there a health issue that’s worrying you? Let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.