Are you routinely left off meeting invites at work? Do your co-workers always seem to know about opportunities for more visibility? Do you not receive the same information as your co-workers so you can do your job effectively? Does your boss yell, talk down to you, or make fun of you? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are being bullied at work.
As adults, it can be difficult to recognize bullying because we thought we left the bullies in the hallways at school. We also tend to believe that by the time we are finessing the corporate world, there is no way we would allow someone to make us feel incapable or less than. If we do recognize it, we blow it off, make excuses for it, or act like it’s just a part of climbing the proverbial corporate ladder.
It may be normal in your environment or even accepted as corporate culture, but bullying is emphatically not okay. It contributes to depression, coupled with feelings of imposter syndrome and unworthiness. It also dictates low work morale, low productivity, and general overall unhappiness.
According to the Workplace Bullying Institute, 30% of employees have direct experience being bullied. One would think that working remotely would help with the bullying epidemic, but the same study showed that 43% of employees are still being bullied. Overall, this affects a whopping 48.6 million Americans who are being bullied at work.
When it comes to bullying, subtle takes the lead
For most of us, it’s easy to spot aggressive bullying, but what about when it’s subtle? Subtle bullying plays on a person’s psychological safety because it’s more difficult to prove. It can cause emotional and psychological damage, creating a toxic work atmosphere while undermining the well-being of targeted individuals.
One of the challenges with subtle workplace bullying is that it can be challenging to address. Victims may struggle to prove the existence of such behavior because it lacks the direct evidence found in more overt forms of bullying. Organizations must proactively address subtle workplace bullying by creating a culture of respect and open communication, providing training on recognizing and preventing such behavior, and implementing clear reporting mechanisms. Encouraging a supportive and inclusive workplace culture can help mitigate the damaging effects of subtle workplace bullying and promote a more positive and productive work environment for all employees.
The impact of subtle workplace bullying on your employees is overwhelming. People usually underreport bullying because they fear retaliation, potential career repercussions, or a lack of confidence in the organization’s ability to address the situation. Some studies have indicated that women experience subtle workplace aggression more than men, but it does affect all individuals. Most importantly, the long-term effects are devastating. Many victims experience ongoing emotional distress and difficulties in their personal and professional lives.
Subtle bullying examples
It is imperative that you are able to spot and stop workplace bullying. To help you understand subtle bullying, check out these examples:
- Withholding information: Deliberately excluding colleagues from important discussions, meetings, or projects, limiting their access to essential information.
- Backhanded compliments: Giving compliments that seem positive on the surface but contain a subtle undertone of criticism or insult, undermining a person’s achievements or abilities. A great example of back-handed compliments usually falls under the term microaggressions, i.e., you are a credit to your race, you are so articulate, you look exotic, etc.
- Micro-managing: Excessively monitoring and controlling someone’s work, lacking trust and autonomy, which can make individuals feel undervalued and frustrated.
- Gossiping or spreading rumors: Engaging in workplace gossip or spreading false rumors about colleagues, damaging their professional reputation or relationships.
- Passive-aggressive behavior: Indirectly expressing hostility or dissatisfaction through sarcasm, subtle jabs, or non-verbal cues, making it difficult for others to address the issue directly.
- Exclusionary body language: Using non-verbal cues such as eye-rolling, scoffing, or crossing arms to demonstrate disapproval, disrespect, or dismissal of someone’s ideas or contributions.
Preventing and addressing workplace bullying
As an employee, it can be challenging to address these things, especially if there is a power dynamic at play. But here are a few things to help:
- Find an ally. This is a person with whom you can talk about the situation. This person usually has the ear of those who can create change, or at the very least, they may be able to stand up for you.
- Recognize the signs. Educate yourself about the signs and characteristics of workplace bullying. Be vigilant and attentive to any indications of bullying behavior.
- Act. If your workplace has created a safe reporting mechanism, use it. Reporting bullying behavior is essential to your psychological safety.
- Know the employee handbook. Learn what policies and procedures are in place to keep you safe and to understand what resources are available to you.
- Lead by example. It doesn’t matter if you are the most entry-level employee at your company; you still have a responsibility to be a good human being. Don’t allow the toxic work culture to change you into someone who makes someone else’s life miserable. It’s essential to model respectful behavior and treat everyone fairly and equitably. This encourages a culture of respect, empathy, and inclusivity.
I’ve heard it said that the heartbeat of any company is its people. If the people are the heartbeat, then the culture is the heart itself. A healthy culture looks connected, cohesive, and inclusive. Bullying damages the heart. And, when the heart goes, so does everything else.
Risha Grant is a DEI and bias expert and speaker who specializes in helping people find radical acceptance to un-do unconscious bias, micro-aggressions, and other actions that perpetuate discrimination and inequality in the workplace, especially for women of color. She is the author of the new book, Be Better Than Your BS: How Radical Acceptance Empowers Authenticity and Creates a Workplace Culture of Inclusion.