The Australian Grand Prix is right around the corner and F1’s Valtteri Bottas dropped perhaps the greatest lead-up commercial of all time for Uber.
Danny Ric and Oscar Piastri might be the only Aussies on the grid, but we can officially add Valtteri as an honorary Aussie after nailing so much of the culture. If this whole thing left you a little confused, and I get it, because much of this is very Australian — well, I’m here to help.
The car
Firstly, this appears to be a modified Holden Maloo — one of the legendary Aussie muscle cars. A two-door sport ute, it’s basically a V8, 500 horsepower muscle car with a truck bed. An El Camino on steroids. The ute is an intensely Aussie thing, and the Maloo is the best example of it.
The hair
It’s weird that mullets are now cool again with the kids, because the mullet has been living on in corners of Aussie lifestyle (particularly hoon car culture) forever. Bottas’ mullet is a good mullet.
The meat pie
Rookie mistake here. The pie is the perfect grab-and-go food, but Valtteri burned his mouth by not slathering the top of the pie in sauce (ketchup). It adds a neccesary cooling layer to the pie on first bite so you don’t burn your mouth.
“Thong storage”
We call flip flops “thongs,” while a thong is called a g-string.
Budgie Smugglers
Really, really tight Speedo style swimsuits for men are referred to as “Budgie Smugglers.” A budgie is a small parakeet, and if you were to smuggle one in your tiny shorts … I think you get the picture of where the bulge is now.
The “bird” horn
That’s a kookaburra. An Australian native bird whose call sounds like mocking laughter. They’re wonderful, and also extremely annoying when they wake you up at 6 a.m.
Valtteri Bottas is a legend who truly gets it. Hopefully now you understand what the hell all this is now.