A woman who is planning on getting married a month before her twin sister has been slammed as “disrespectful.”
Weddings are a time when families can get together and celebrate the union of two people, but this case has proven to be pulling one family apart.
In a viral post shared to Reddit’s Am I The ******* page, user britcassy explained she and her fiancé recently got engaged during a trip to Iceland last month and that they were planning on getting married.
After sharing news about the engagement during a family dinner, the woman joked they would get married in August 2024, the same month as her twin—but then said the date would probably be in July that year.
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But it emerged the joke and actual date offered did not go down well with the woman’s twin and that she was actually quite upset by the revelation.
The Reddit user said: “Later that week I had a call with my twin and she brought up the joke date asking if I was serious. I explained no it was a joke. She asked if we were serious about July to which I told her yes.
“She told me [that] my fiancé and I were being disrespectful and she expected an apology from him for choosing that time of year because we knew she already had a set date in August.
“I explained we did not pick that time of year with any intentions of hurting her feelings or being malicious or evil. She did not care. The phone call ended after she explained she could not put into words correctly how she felt and she would contact me later.”
The Reddit user explained the message she got was that her twin did not want her to get married before her, even if it was by a month.
She further explained: “One of my fiancé’s reasons for that time of year are specific to a family member’s health. I did not tell my sister this as I did not feel it was my place. Since then my fiancé has had a discussion with her fiancé and disclosed that information.”
Wedding expert and editor of Hitched.co.uk Zoe Burke told Newsweek the situation was complex due in part to their close relationship.
She added: “This situation is quite tricky, particularly because the brides in question are twins—it might be less complex if they were cousins or otherwise more distantly related.
“The poster has mentioned that they have a pressing issue of someone with a terminal illness on her fiancé’s side, which is going to add to the urgency, but I can understand why her sister is put out that the wedding is taking place just one month before hers.
“It’s going to vary hugely from person to person, family to family, how this issue is regarded and dealt with. I know of twins who have chosen to marry on the same day for example, and of siblings who have delayed their wedding by a year to allow their sister to have their own ‘wedding year.’
“If you’re in a similar situation, all I can advise is that you talk to the person whose date is already set ahead of making your own firm plans, to see how they feel. They might not care that it’s a month or so apart, or they might have valid concerns, such as budget constraints on family members who will attend both, wedding fatigue—it’s a thing—or even being worried that their own day will be overshadowed or compared—which I think is a legitimate concern, especially if you’re closely related.
“You should respect their feelings as much as you’re able to—that doesn’t mean delaying by a year necessarily, but maybe looking at dates a couple of months ahead or behind to avoid the celebrations being too close together.”
The average wedding size in 2022 was 117 guests, according to the wedding planning website The Knot.
Since being shared on October 1, the post has been upvoted 5,900 times and was liked on 2,200 occasions.
The overwhelming number of people who commented on the post hit out at the Reddit poster’s decision to hold their wedding before their twin.
Reddit user Ryuloulou, whose comment was upvoted more than 17,300 times, said: “Well, to be fair, she gave you a date for her wedding and you come back to announce that your wedding will be one month before hers. It feels very much intentional, even if you say it is not.
“I am not calling you an ******* but I see where she is coming from, from the outside it really looks like you have rushed to be the first one married as soon as she had a date.”
PravinI123 added: “YTA (you’re the *******). Let your sister enjoy her moment. You can get married next July. Not sure why you’re in such a rush.”
Newsweek has contacted britcassy for comment via Reddit.
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