Bride-To-Be Applauded for Why She Called Off Wedding: ‘Expensive Mistake’

A bride-to-be has called off her upcoming wedding and is asking her fiancé to “re-evaluate” whether he wants to get married.

In a post shared to Reddit under the handle Necessary_Guard3008, she explained that she took the decision after he made a “joke” in front of their friends about being “trapped” in the marriage.

Weddings are increasingly expensive affairs in America today. A survey of nearly 10,000 U.S. couples who married in 2023 conducted by wedding planning website The Knot found that the average cost of a wedding day was $35,000—a significant increase on the $30,000 reported the previous year.

Given that kind of outlay, it’s perhaps understandable that some couples would want to make doubly sure they are making the right decision. That’s what seems to have motivated this particular bride, who got engaged to her fiancé three months ago.

According to the post, she had been “really excited” about planning the wedding as she works in events and it’s her “passion.” Her fiancé, however, was less enthused and found the idea of planning his big day “boring.”

Matters came to a head during a discussion with friends about the planning of their big day. “I was telling them some of my plans to cut costs down and my friend made a joke that it was a good thing my fiancé locked me down because I am a professional,” the bride-to-be wrote.

“My fiancé joked that he didn’t lock me down, I locked him up. He said he was trying to enjoy his last days of freedom before I trapped him in the marriage.”

The comments left her upset as it seemed he not only didn’t appreciate her efforts but also seemed to be suggesting she was “pushing him to get married.” So she decided to call the whole thing off.

“I don’t want to marry someone that doesn’t enthusiastically want to get married,” she wrote. The bride-to-be is now calling on her fiancé to “re-evaluate if he really wants to get married or even stay in this relationship.”

The bride-to-be took the decision now before spending money on vendors as she didn’t want to end up making an “expensive mistake.” Though her fiancé has been left “upset” and insists he was “just joking,” many felt she was within her rights to call things off.

Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert and founder of The Protocol School of Texas, told Newsweek: “The groom-to-be may have been joking, but clearly his fiancée was deeply hurt by his comment. There are some jokes that are funny, and there are others that are hurtful, whether intentionally or unintentionally.”

Gottsman hoped that the incident might serve as a “good wake-up call” for both parties. “They can both work together to heal the relationship, or choose to cancel and move on,” she said. However, she was left pondering whether the bride-to-be was using the joke as “an excuse for delaying the nuptials.”

“Canceling the wedding over one insensitive joke is extreme,” she said. “Although if there has been a series of red flags, it makes more sense.” In any case, Gottsman agreed that the joke was “disrespectful” and “definitely not recommended” for anyone wanting to marry.

Most commenting on Reddit agreed. One user wrote: “You’re smarter than me. My ex made this ‘joke’ and I laughed it off. I def was the one who got trapped. Run.” Another commented: “Getting married to my wife was the most exciting day of my life, and I still look back on that day to get me through bad days of work or stress…. Jokes like that make my skin crawl.” A third added: “Why do people still think it’s funny to joke about hating your spouse/being trapped/’the old ball and chain’ and so forth? You made the right call.”

Ultimately, Gottsman concluded what happens next is up to the couple themselves. “People cancel weddings, and then decide to marry, and live happily ever after,” she said. “It’s a matter of whether they want to work out their issues, seek healing and forgiveness, or go their separate ways.”

Newsweek reached out to Necessary_Guard3008 for comment.

Have you noticed any red flags that made you end a relationship? Let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.