Bride’s Reason for Not Asking Stepfather to Walk Her Down the Aisle Backed

A bride-to-be has been backed after the reason why she chose to have her mother walk her down the aisle at her wedding instead of her stepfather was shared online.

In a viral post uploaded to Reddit’s Am I The ******* group on November 17, which can be seen here, user PopShort7064 explained that her daughter Calla, 24, asked her to take on the special honor.

The Reddit user explained that her previous husband died when her children were young and had been, in part, raised by their stepfather.

“She was 15 when she told me if she ever got married she would want me to walk her down the aisle and for us to do a mother/daughter dance instead of a father/daughter one,” the Reddit user said. “I told her we could dance to the song her dad used to sing to her. She said she loved the idea.”

Years later, the Reddit user’s daughter asked her to be the one to take on the special task and she agreed.

“She brought up our past conversation and told me she wanted exactly that,” she said. “I told her I would be honored. We cried tears of joy together. I told her that her dad would be so proud.

“My husband took the news in a way I did not expect. His first question was whether I suggested she ask us both to do it and I told him no. Then he asked if she ever considered asking him and I said I could not answer that for her. He asked me if I thought of him when I said yes. He asked whether I gave any thought to all he has done for Calla, for both kids and the fact he’s still not looked upon as a fatherly figure all these years later.

“I told him I did not think of him when asked because I was overjoyed. He told me I should have given him a lot more consideration and I should have tried to compromise with my daughter.”

Newsweek has contacted PopShort7064 for comment via Reddit.

Wedding Expert’s View

Wedding expert and editor of Hitched.co.uk Zoe Burke told Newsweek it is ultimately up to the couple to decide who participates in which roles at their wedding.

“For families who have experienced loss, or those who don’t have the typical family dynamics and roles, it’s not unusual for ‘nearlyweds’ to choose to honor their loved ones in different ways, whether that be toasting them in the wedding speeches or leaving a space for them at the table, or having another parent perform roles they wouldn’t normally—like in this case.

“Wedding planning is a stressful and time-consuming process and there’s no way this decision was made lightly. At the end of the day, who the bride chooses to walk them down the aisle is a personal choice and one that should be respected.

Online Reaction to Post

Since being uploaded, the post has attracted an estimated 4,700 upvotes and more than 1,800 comments.

Many of those who commented on the post believed it was up to the bride to decide.

Reddit user mayrigirl5, whose comment was upvoted more than 7,400 times, said: “NTA (not the *******), your husband should respect your daughter’s wishes. Although I wonder, does he feel entitled because he’s the stepfather or is he contributing financially with the wedding?”

Mandiezie1 added: “As a daddy’s girl, I can tell you that no man, as you know, could ever hold a candle to my father so I feel comfortable saying that your daughter would probably never ask him because it would be like disrespecting the memory of her father.”

Waste_Designer_6774 commented: “[The] stepdad can be honored in another way. [A] second dance should also be announced, like the first mother-daughter dance.”

Mad-Dog20-20 posted: “If they [the step-father and daughter] can get together in a non-confrontational way I would think that it could help them build a better relationship, more like the one he’s seeking.”

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