Gupta: A Valentine’s lesson — happiness lies on the other side of fear

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As we approach Valentine’s Day, a time traditionally reserved for expressions of love and connection in the heart of winter, it is worth pondering the dance between fear and happiness in our lives, and how embracing one can lead us to the other. This reflection has come from the journey I have experienced with the love of my life, who has inspired me to become a better person and taught me that happiness lies on the other side of fear.

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Fear, in its many guises, often operates silently as the backdrop to our daily routines. Whether it manifests as a hesitation to pursue a new relationship, a reluctance to seek a promotion, or anxiety about breaking from societal norms, fear is common in the human experience. It is an emotion that, while originally meant to protect us, has evolved into a barrier that frequently inhibits our pursuit of happiness.

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Consider the fear of failure. It’s a spectre that looms large when we stand on the cusp of taking a leap, be it in love, career, or personal endeavours. This fear can immobilize us, trapping us in a cycle of inaction. But let’s remember, failure is not a dead-end street; it’s a thoroughfare leading to greater understanding and resilience. In my own journey, acknowledging and learning from past mistakes has been instrumental in shaping a more authentic and contented self.

Then there’s the fear of rejection, a formidable force that often persuades us to don masks, to hide our true selves behind a façade of conformity. But in quiet times of self-reflection, we discover that happiness is an internal journey, a path where authenticity is our most loyal guide.

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The fear of the unknown is perhaps the most daunting. It is human nature to cling to the familiar, even when it brings us little joy. However, true growth and happiness often lie in uncharted territories or in uncomfortable conversations where we challenge our own beliefs. This Valentine’s Day, let’s challenge ourselves to step beyond our comfort zones, to see old situations through fresh lenses, and to embrace the power of new experiences and perspectives.

In my personal life, this shift in approach has redefined my understanding of relationships. Moving away from the pursuit of perfection, I now seek connections that are rooted in mutual growth, open communication and the courage to confront and learn from our past. This shift has not been about erasing past errors — Lord knows I’ve made past errors — but about using them as motivation to evolve into a more insightful, empathetic individual.

As we approach Valentine’s Day 2024, I urge us all to face our fears with determination and humility. It’s about small, yet significant changes in our reactions and decisions: choosing understanding over anger, openness over withdrawal, risk-taking over safety. These moments of conscious choice are the stepping stones to personal growth and fulfilment.

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I draw tremendous strength and inspiration from my close relationships, and, like many of you, have had my life enriched in countless ways by the love of others. My learning from all of this is that there is tremendous value in betting on ourselves, and leaping over the barriers of fear in order to grasp the happiness that awaits on the other side. I hope 2024 will be a year of self-discovery, meaningful connections, and the realization that true happiness is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.

Arjun Gupta is a law student at the University of Ottawa.

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