How To Understand Your Dog’s Love Language, According to a Vet

Most dog owners love their faithful companion unconditionally. But does your dog know? And are you loving them the way they want to be loved?

A couple of decades ago marriage counselor Gary Chapman developed the concept of love languages, identifying the five ways each of us experiences love. This concept doesn’t just apply to us humans—it applies to dogs too. While some dogs may prefer cuddles, hugs, and snuggling on the couch with you, others may be happier if you take them out on a long walk, or give them a couple of treats.

Newsweek spoke to a veterinarian and a dog behavior expert to understand the different love languages of dogs, and how to reciprocate their love in the best possible way.

What Are Dog’s Love Languages?

Sarah-Anne Reed, consulting holistic dog trainer at Healthy Paws Pet Insurance, told Newsweek that recognizing your dog’s love language and knowing how to give them the love they seek gives your dog a sense of relief, and provides the comfort they need to blossom.

Words of affirmation

All dogs enjoy being acknowledged and praised when they make good choices, according to Reed. However, some dogs don’t need the affirmation as much as others.

“Notice how your dog responds when you call them to you. Do they come bounding over joyfully expecting your verbal praise, or do they look at you from across the yard as though they are deciding whether to respond or not?” she said.

“If your dog has selective hearing and you can see their wheels turning, they ignore your recall, and you can almost hear them say, ‘I choose “No”, I’ll come when I’m ready,’ words of affirmation aren’t high on their list! This is also a clear indication that your dog doesn’t see you as their leader or decision-maker, or they would have come when you called them.”

Physical touch

If your dog is constantly seeking affection from you and doesn’t settle unless you are petting them, or they are lying close to you, or touching you, physical touch is definitely their love language, and it’s important for them to feel connected with you.

“However, if this is a constant, demanding need, it’s also a sign that your dog is experiencing anxiety,” Reed said, adding that when a dog is unable to settle unless they are physically close to you, it’s a sign that they feel responsible for taking care of you, which is a huge burden for a dog.

“We are either the leader or the equivalent of the ‘puppy’ or two-year-old child in our dog’s eyes, due to how we interact with them. If a dog is receiving kind, loving leadership signals from their guardian they will be able to truly enjoy affection, as it won’t be given by the ‘puppy’, but from their ‘guardian’ who is showing calm, grounded, confident, leadership.”

Gift-giving

If your dog is excited when you give them a new toy, carrying it around the house or even taking it to sleep with them, it means that receiving gifts is important to them and helps them feel more loved.

“Gift-giving for dogs doesn’t mean buying them a new toy each week. You can rotate their toys, and the toys that have been hidden for the last week bring so much joy when they magically appear in the toy basket! Some dogs truly love their toys, and have designated one toy as their favorite, and will carry around their ‘special toy’ with pride every day of their life,” Reed said.

Newsweek has previously reported on the types of toys that you should never buy your dogs. These include children’s toys because they’re not resistant enough for playtime with an animal; small size toys that they can swallow; sugary treats and pig ears, because they can lead to some diseases; and most of all bones, because they can splinter, making your dog choke.

Toys you should buy include those that keep them active, such as frisbees; rubber toys; size-proof toys that they can carry without having to hold them in their mouths entirely; low calories fruits and vegs, except those that are toxic to them; dental sticks; and big natural bones, although the use of the last one should be strictly supervised.

Quality time

This is the most important love language for all dogs, according to Reed, and is the ultimate way of showing them how much we love them.

“If we take care of them, but don’t spend quality time interacting with our dog, how can they feel truly acknowledged, appreciated, and loved? Remember that dogs are always living in the present moment, they don’t need to meditate, or get quiet and grounded to be present; it’s natural for animals.

“Notice how your dog responds to you when you are distracted by talking on the phone during their walk, or watching TV, texting, or checking social media, while you play with them. Your energy is divided, and their level of playfulness won’t be at full capacity, they may walk away disinterested after a few minutes, or start barking at you to get your attention,” she said.

Acts of service

As a pet parent, acts of service, like waking up early to take them on a walk, or making time to brush their teeth and groom them, are part of taking care of your pup. According to Reed, to say that this is a love language that dogs value is complicated, because it’s like saying that a child’s love language is acts of service.

“Children don’t know any difference until they experience the world outside of their home. They have no concept of everything their parent does to provide and take care of them. Dogs are no different, they don’t understand how many hours you need to work to pay for their pet insurance, food, treats, or vet care.

“They don’t realize that you need to take time out of your day to run errands for them. But this applies to dogs who are in a loving home and treated like a family member. For the unfortunate dogs who don’t even have food and shelter, no one to take care of them, these basic acts of service would be life-changing.”

How Do You Understand What Your Dog’s Love Language Is?

Dr. Danny Cox, chief veterinary medical officer of Petzey, told Newsweek that to understand your dog’s love language, you should watch how they express affection and what behaviors they respond to most positively.

“For example, a dog that frequently initiates physical contact may value touch, while one that brings toys or performs tasks may express love through acts of service. Paying attention to these cues over time will reveal your dog’s preferred ways of giving and receiving love,” he said.

According to Reed, your dog’s love language is determined by several factors, including their history, personality, and environment. Moreover, like people, they may need several love languages fulfilled to feel happy and loved.

“Dogs with a traumatic history, who experienced or witnessed physical abuse, physical touch may be challenging for them at first until they learn to feel safe in their new family. Dog’s individual personalities will also determine what kind of love language they respond to,” she said.

How Can You Adapt To Your Dog’s Love Language?

Giving your dog love in a way they can understand is the only way we can reciprocate all their love for us. To make your dog feel loved, you should try to tailor your interactions based on their preferences, Cox said.

“For instance, if your dog values physical touch, incorporate more petting and cuddling into your routine,” he said. “If they respond well to verbal praise, use encouraging words frequently. Adjusting your behavior to match your dog’s love language will strengthen your connection and enhance their well-being.”