Jonathan van Ness has revealed that Dax Shepard never reached out to him after the Queer Eye star was reduced to tears while discussing anti-transgender vitriol on an episode of the actor’s podcast.
On his September 25 appearance on Armchair Expert, Van Ness, who is non-binary and uses any pronouns, said he was “emotionally exhausted” from the anti-transgender rhetoric happening across the country.
He also tried to explain gender-affirming healthcare, which includes the diagnosis and treatment of physical and mental health conditions, as well as sex reassignment therapies. It is supported by major medical, nursing, and healthcare societies across the world.
Shepard then argued that those on the right who are opposed to issues such as gender-affirming healthcare for teens, drag queen story hours, trans people participating in sports, and boycotting brands who work with LGBTQ+ people, simply had a “difference of opinion.”
During a November 14 appearance on the Not Skinny But Not Fat podcast, Van Ness told host Amanda Hirsch that he hasn’t spoken to Shepard since the emotional discussion.
Ilya S. Savenok/Jason Bollenbacher/Getty Images for GLAAD/Getty Images for SXSW
Newsweek contacted Shephard’s and Van Ness’ representatives by email for comment Wednesday.
Van Ness revealed he almost stood up and left twice during the Armchair Expert podcast and thought Shepard would have reached out after they recorded the episode, which Van Ness claims he hasn’t done as of yet.
“I thought that there would be a reach-out. I feel like if I had someone into my home to have a podcast and you know…he was a lot more animated in real life. I mean I almost got up and left twice. It was intense,” he told Hirsch.
When Hirsch asked why he didn’t get up and leave, Van Ness said it felt uncomfortable to do so.
“Because I was sitting in f****** Dax Shepard’s house. You’re not sitting in an office like this, you’re like literally in someone’s house. You don’t really feel like you’re in your power,” he said.
The hairstylist added: “I’m a huge fan of his wife [Kristen Bell], it was just very unexpected.”
Van Ness said while the pair haven’t spoken to each other, he thinks he and Shepard are “good” despite his claims the episode was edited.
He continued: “[The episode] was really edited and also…I just wanted insight because like, obviously that was a pretty intense conversation. I had a feeling that it would be edited I just wish that I could have had a transcript or had insight into what that edit would be and, you know, I asked for that and wasn’t given that.
“As someone who’s been hosting a podcast for eight years, I do transcripts, I let my guests read the transcript. That part was kind of hard. He’s nice, I have a lot of respect for him. I will say this, I thought he was very brave to release it.”
When Hirsch chimed in saying Shepard could have taken the chance to edit himself in the final version but didn’t, Van Ness clarified: “Oh to be clear, he was very edited.”
The Queer Eye star then went on to say that what actually happened during the Armchair Expert episode was “worse” than what was in the final edit, which made Van Ness think Shepard wouldn’t release it.
“If a more accurate edit existed I think you would see why I cried. I was really exhausted from the gaslighting it was really gaslighty to say ‘I can agree with you on nine of 10 things but then I disagree on one thing and you’re going to label me,'” he shared.
“Well, he wasn’t agreeing with me on nine of 10 he was actually disagreeing with me on every single thing I said. Every single thing I said he had pushed back, every single thing.”
Van Ness said what made him so emotional and “stressed” during his chat with Shepard was thinking about how much vitriol and disinformation the transgender community has to overcome. However, he concluded by saying he doesn’t think Shepard intends to hurt people.
“I think Dax is really sweet, I think he’s very sweet. I don’t think he understands, I don’t think he means harm, I will say that,” he said.
“He does not mean harm and I thought it was brave to release the episode and I’m glad that he allowed for so many more people to be exposed to that.”
Uncommon Knowledge
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Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.