Man Backed For Uninviting Partner To Wedding Over Outfit Row: ‘Embarrassed’

A man has been praised for uninviting his partner as a plus one to a wedding over an argument about his desired outfit.

On March 10, Reddit user wilted_kilt explained that his partner, “Sara,” was trying to dictate what he wears to the wedding of his friends “Kate” and “Max”—all of which are fake names.

“Sara told me that I absolutely cannot wear my kilt because it wouldn’t be appropriate for formal attire,” he wrote. However, the engaged couple approve of the idea as the groom himself will be donning the knee-length garment, traditionally worn in Scotland.

So far, the post about the dress code dilemma has received a lot of attention and racked up 6,300 upvotes.

Despite getting the go-ahead from the bride, Sara was still against it because he would “stand out too much.”

“I pointed out that Kate explicitly said that she already knew some guests would be wearing kilts. But yesterday Max texted me because Sara had asked him to tell me not to wear my kilt, and he was weirded out because he knew that I would ask to wear my kilt and thought it was strange for her to ask him about it. I was kind of hurt and when I asked why she asked Max to tell me not to wear a kilt she said that she thought it was the only way to get me not to embarrass her,” he wrote.

The man said he can understand why she may feel awkward as she’s an introvert and he draws a lot of attention when he wears a kilt in public. However, this doesn’t mean he is willing to ditch his outfit. Instead, he told Sara she can no longer attend.

Newsweek spoke to life coach Bayu Prihandito, who specializes in mental health, relationships, and personal development. He explained the importance of mutual respect, autonomy, and individuality in a healthy relationship. According to Prihandito, dictating a partner’s wardrobe crosses a line and signifies underlying issues within the relationship.

He told Newsweek: “This kind of behavior shows a lack of direct communication between both partners and also puts their mutual friends in an uncomfortable position, just for the sake of being right. In this case, the girlfriend’s attitude could be seen as an overstep, potentially hurting even further the trust and communication within the relationship.”

In the comment section, some people have accused Sara of being controlling. Prihandito told Newsweek: “In this situation, I do believe it can be seen as controlling behavior. It reflects a deeper need to manage or influence her partner’s choices to align with her own comfort or preferences, at the expense of his autonomy and respect.”

At the time of writing, the post has 1,300 comments and the top one alone has received 12,400 upvotes.

It said: “NTA. It appears that everybody but your gf is fine with your wearing a kilt. Leaving her behind for this wedding would clearly be a kindness so that she can avoid being embarrassed. It’s far less drastic than her pressuring the groom to forbid you from wearing a kilt. I would consider this kind of extreme attempt at controlling you to be a red flag.”

“She did. She asked you to your face and in an attempt to get her own way, she went around behind your back to try to get the outcome she wanted. You already said no. She didn’t like that. Her reaction is telling, dude. Listen to her telling you who she is,” said another user.

Newsweek has contacted @wilted_kilt for comment.

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