Man Calling His Wife ‘Fat’ in Front of Colleagues Sparks Huge Debate

An impassioned debate has erupted online after a man shared that he’d called his wife, who he refers to as Carol, “fat” in front of colleagues at his workplace.

The 34-year-old man took to Reddit to dish the dirt on the heated conversation he’d had with his colleague, a 28-year-old woman he refers to as Julia.

“[My coworkers and I] are all fit people, without a lot of body type variety. My wife is fat,” the man opened up online. “The thing is, she’s always been fat. We dated when she was fat, we got married when she was fat, and she knows that she’s fat. She’s fat, and she’s beautiful. I’m happy if she loses weight, and I’m happy if she stays the way she is. I think that she’s the most beautiful woman in the world.”

“[One day] one of my coworkers, Julia, started complaining that she’s too fat to be loved, and that fat people don’t get to be loved. Julia isn’t fat. She also works out five times a week, and barely eats. I told her that this isn’t true, and that my wife was fat. She got really red in the face and started telling me that I wasn’t allowed to call my wife fat, and that I had insulted her,” he added.

The Redditor, who shared that he works in a physically demanding role where he’s required to keep in good health, continued that Julia soon began threatening to tell his wife that he’d “called her fat”. According to the man’s recollection, the heated exchange quickly spiraled out of control.

“[Julia] pulled up [my wife’s] Instagram and told me that she [would tell] Carol that I was being mean,” he wrote.

“I beat her to the punch and called my wife. I her on speaker phone, and asked if she was curvy or fat. Carol laughed, and said ‘I hate that curvy s***. I’m fat and beautiful, baby!’ I thanked her, told her I loved her, and hung up.”

“Julia went mental. She started screaming that I was abusing my wife. When I asked how, she [answered that] I was brainwashing her into accepting the term fat, to try to keep her complacent. [She said] that no woman in her right mind could be okay with their husband calling them fat,” he added.

The man went on to show Julia a recent photo of his wife and her “fat positivity” blog, to highlight how confident she feels in her body, but she stormed off before he could get a response from her. He then got readers up to speed, with an edit to the existing post, that he’d since received a warning from his company’s Human Resources (HR) team following his frosty dispute with Julia.

“Julia constantly gives me dirty looks when we’re in the same room. She ignores me otherwise,” the man wrote.

“I met with HR. Apparently, multiple coworkers who had overheard the conversation stopped by HR throughout the day to weigh in on what happened.”

“I wasn’t in trouble, they just wanted [to understand] my side. It checked out with what everyone else had said, too. Our [HR] representative told me that since this didn’t affect my work, it was irrelevant. The story had been corroborated enough by others.”

“HR reiterated [that] even though Julia had initiated the conversation, I shouldn’t have jumped in. It was less of a scolding, and more of a request to keep my nose out of other people’s business. I’m sad because I thought Julia and I were friends. We talked about our mental health struggles and the hardships of the field we’re in. Won’t be having those conversations any further,” he concluded.

Newsweek reached out to the man, who goes by u/fatwifetaa on Reddit, on the platform for more information.

Expert Verdict: ‘Fat Is Not a Bad Word’

TJ Mocci is a therapist and clinical director at Octave, a therapeutic services clinic offering support to individuals and families in California’s Concord. Mocci holds a master of arts degree in psychology and drama therapy from the California Institute of Integral Studies, and he’s picked up a specialism in disordered eating. Newsweek consulted Mocci for his take on the workplace friendship fallout.

“I believe that it’s a healthy practice to use the word fat because it encourages self-love rather than shame,” Mocci told Newsweek. “Reclaiming fat as a neutral descriptor strips away the sting of stigma and empowers us to embrace our bodies, love our bodies, and care for our bodies as opposed to hating our bodies or working to change them in potentially damaging and unhealthy ways.”

“By reclaiming the word fat, we chip away at a society obsessed with size. It becomes a sort of revolutionary act paving the way for a world where all bodies are celebrated and cherished,” he added.

What Do the Comments Say?

Since being shared to the social media platform on January 25 by u/fatwifetaa, the Reddit post has been upvoted by over 12,500 users and commented on more than 3,300 times.

Redditors engaging with the post have shared a variety of takes on the viral moment in the comments section. The majority of users appear to be offering their support and sympathy to the man.

“The difference between your wife and Julia is that your wife loves herself. Julia can’t even pretend to,” one user wrote.

Another user added: “The HR thing is wild. Imagine fishing for validation from a man—your married coworker—then going off on him for loving his wife, threatening to [direct message] her, and then reporting him to HR.”

“If anything, Julia may be upset because she can’t blame her insecurities on this idea of being fat. Or she uses this idea of body positivity to push others into expressing fatphobia she internalizes,” a third user shared.

“The most wild thing is Julia was fishing for validation from a married man and then went off the deep end quickly,” said another Redditor.

The Reddit post can be seen here.

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