Man Rejecting Girlfriend’s Vacation Demand Backed: ‘Thought I Was Bluffing’

A vacation that had been planned as a romantic getaway has ended in a public disagreement over financial responsibilities, sparking a broad discussion on social media.

The instigator of the conversation, a 28-year-old man who goes by u/Fabulous-Plenty-5465 on Reddit, sought refuge in the opinions of others on the social media platform.

He’d posed a question about whether he’d acted unreasonably by refusing to cover additional travel costs after his girlfriend decided to extend her stay in Italy, without his prior consent, to “find herself” and think about the status of their relationship.

The U.S. couple, who remain anonymous, had initially planned a romantic two-week trip to Italy after spending two years together.

The man had covered all expenses, including flights and hotels, wanting to ensure a stress-free experience given his higher income. However, the trip took an unexpected turn on the last day when his girlfriend expressed her wish to stay longer to consider the future of their relationship, without him.

“I paid for the flights, hotels—everything, because I make more than she does, and I wanted it to be a stress-free trip for both of us,” the man posted on Reddit.

“Everything was great until the last day when she tells me she wants to stay longer to ‘find herself’ and think about our relationship without me. She didn’t discuss this with me beforehand.”

Feeling “blindsided,” the man informed his girlfriend that if she chose to extend her stay, she would need to pick up the tab.

He stated in his post, “I was hurt and told her that if she feels she needs time alone, then she should also be independent financially during this extension of her trip. I said I wouldn’t be paying for her new return ticket whenever she decides to come back.”

“I guess she thought I was bluffing but had a rude awakening when the hotel staff kicked her out of the room because I’d only paid through that day,” he added.

This decision led to a significant conflict, with his girlfriend calling him “unsupportive and selfish,” and some of their friends labeling him negatively for allegedly leaving her “stranded” without financial assistance in a foreign country. This prompted him to seek the opinions of Reddit users on whether his actions were justified.

The post has since received over 15,000 upvotes and over 2,800 comments since it was shared nine days ago, the majority of which support the boyfriend’s decision, highlighting the importance of communication and mutual respect in financial matters within relationships.

“She can ‘find herself’ on her own dime. That’s reasonable and fair,” one user wrote.

“You have been supportive and unselfish. You didn’t complain or become difficult. You respected her decision to stay and ‘find herself.’ Supportive does not necessarily mean you have to pay for her choices.”

“And no, you didn’t strand her in a foreign country without financial help. It was her decision to stay behind. All you did was respect her decision. However, it was not your obligation to fund her decision,” they added.

A different user commented: “Let’s be honest, she could “find herself” at home, but she chose to stay in Italy. She had a paid for holiday and now she is all surprised Pikachu face that he won’t fund a journey of self exploration, with a side of I need to think about our relationship without you?”

Other Redditors have wondered whether the woman’s supposedly sudden decision was made to prompt a proposal from her partner.

“Listen, it could be this, I don’t know that I believe it, but it could be this. However, if this is the case, it still doesn’t make sense that she thought that her boyfriend would pay for an extra ticket for her to go home while she’s thinking about dumping him. Also, she’s 27 and they’ve been dating for 2 years, in my experience, that isn’t ‘propose or we’re done’ timing. And if it is propose or we’re done for her, she needs to communicate that to her partner,” another user offered.

The man updated commenters that the pair are now both back in the U.S., though they have planned to separate. He also recounted that his now ex-partner had “met someone” while they were in Italy together.

Nicole Moore, a relationship expert, weighed in on the situation, emphasizing that both parties displayed problematic behaviors. “This situation is a case of two wrongs don’t make a right,” Moore told Newsweek.

“The girlfriend is completely out of line expecting that her boyfriend pay to extend her stay to contemplate potentially leaving him. It sounds like the girlfriend is somewhat entitled and not attentive to her boyfriend’s feelings.”

Moore also pointed out that while the boyfriend’s reaction is understandable, it could have been handled better by communicating his feelings more clearly rather than refusing outright to fund her extended stay. “While it’s totally acceptable that he does not want to pay for her to stay longer, it would have been better for him to communicate his feelings to her first rather than blanket refusing to purchase her return ticket,” she added.

The man’s ex-girlfriend is reportedly staying with her family as they sort out their next steps.

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