Man’s Yearly Gesture to Ex-Wife for 22 Years Touches Hearts

What if the “one that got away” never really got away?

In a viral TikTok video, Jody Tavares @jodylynnetavares revealed that her father, who has been divorced from her mother for 22 years, still gets his ex-wife a card and calls for their old anniversaries. The video has warmed the hearts of many online, receiving over 128,000 likes and over 700 comments in a little over a week since it was posted.

The video shows a woman, presumably Tavares’ mother, opening a card from her father saying “Happy Anniversary. I didn’t forget! … You’re still my wifie”.

“Not the one-dollar bill,” Tavares captioned the video, referring to the dollar bill her father had tucked in the card.

Viewers in the comments gushed over the expression of love despite the circumstances, with many reflecting on their own experiences of long-lasting commitment.

“My parents divorced 15 years,” @welovethechooch wrote. “My dad called my mom to take him to hospital before he passed and said because he knew he could always count on her.”

“Anyone who is divorced and still has this kind of relationship knows how it is a blessing and a curse! We’ve been divorced 20 years, and this is us,” @nanaof3boyz wrote.

“I share kids with my ex. I will always love him and care for him,” @whomadeyoubossofme said. “I even took him to all his cancer appointments. We’ll always care for each other.”

Some commenters reflected on the nature of love—especially the differences between loving and being “in love”—and speculated about Tavares’ parents’ relationship.

“Sounds like she was his soulmate. Was he hers?” @seltzerwater01 said.

“After being divorced for so long, I think people finally mature and realize they care for and love each other even though they [aren’t] IN love,” @deboreaper42 said.

“My husband’s grandma and grandpa divorced because they fell out of love,” @brook..hitt said. “They still loved each other; they just weren’t in love anymore and this is exactly what this is.”

Staying friends with an ex

Everyday discussions about staying friends with exes are split: Some say it’s possible, while others warn against it. Scientific research, though, without making a judgment call, has narrowed down certain characteristics and outcomes involved in post-separation friendships.

In two studies published by the journal Personal Relationships, researchers examined four reasons to stay friends with exes: security, practicality, civility and unresolved romantic desires. The studies found that friendships pursued out of unresolved romantic desire resulted in negative outcomes, whereas staying connected for security or practical reasons resulted more positively. Staying friends for practical or civility reasons made the friendship less likely to last long-term.

While TikTok users are speculating why Tavares’ parents are staying in touch, there’s no way to be sure. From what they say, though, there might be a case to be made for a different type of love.