Mom of Three Still Sends Out Gift Wish List: ‘It’s Perfectly Reasonable’

They say it’s the thought that counts, not the actual gift. But that old adage apparently no longer holds true for many Gen Zers, millennials, and even older adults.

In times of economic uncertainty, they are clinging onto past traditions and still opting to send their families a wish list for Christmas and their birthdays.

Despite many Americans ending their Christmas wish list tradition as teenagers or in early adulthood, Kassie Hanson, a 33-year-old mom of three in Nebraska, has no qualms about sending her parents and in-laws a list of gifts she’d like.

“I have very generous parents and in-laws that love to give gifts that I want or need,” Hanson told Newsweek. “My in-laws have an especially big family, and they appreciate the help of picking out a gift they know I will like.”

The gift wish lists are not merely a suggestion on Hanson’s part, though, considering her mother-in-law starts asking for the lists even before Thanksgiving.

“If we don’t get it to her swiftly, then she continues to ask us until we send a complete list,” Hanson, who is a stay-at-home mom and the owner of the blog Talk 2 Me Mama, said.

The tradition of sending a Christmas wish list started long ago for Hanson.

Her mom always asked for a list, and the few times that Hanson’s mom got gifts not on a list that weren’t her specific taste, it made an impact.

“Being an inconsiderate teen, I would let her know,” Hanson said. “So it became obvious that a list would be better for everyone. Although I wouldn’t complain about any gift she got me, I know she appreciates getting me a gift I’m sure to love.”

Today, Hanson typically asks for home decor, clothing, gardening supplies, massage gift cards or anything she’s been wanting that she would feel indulgent in buying for herself, she said.

Because she herself sometimes struggles with finding the perfect gift to give someone, Hanson said a wish list can actually be an appropriate way to ease someone else’s gift giving anxieties.

“I know a lot of people my age that make wish lists,” Hanson said. “I think it is perfectly reasonable and helpful. As a poor gift giver, I prefer getting a list from someone.”

Naysayers of Christmas and birthday wish lists often point out it can be seen as an entitled thing to do, but if your family is the one asking for the list, this can shift the dynamic from entitlement to excitement.

Hanson said it’s important to list many options so the gift giver still has agency and won’t feel pressured to spend out of their budget.

More Join The Wish List Bandwagon

Hanson isn’t the only adult unafraid to send their parent a wish list when it comes time to celebrate a holiday.

Samantha Kaiser, the owner of TheLifestyleTravelers.com, is 25 years old and has continued to send out wish lists to her parents for the past several years.

Financial constraints have one part to do with it, with Kaiser saying she doesn’t earn a high paycheck, meaning the gifts she receives are important and can go a long way.

“I’m a minimalist and don’t enjoy receiving gifts that I won’t use,” Kaiser told Newsweek. “I try to utilize wish lists as a way to avoid receiving gifts that get left untouched so that I won’t have to make a Goodwill run after the holidays.”

Dominic Wright, a financial planner at Gen Z Financial Planning, said parents are often giving financial assistance to their children later in life amid today’s economy, and the continued reliance on wish lists reflects that.

“While this can be viewed as younger generational being dependent or being spoiled by their family or friends, it can also be viewed as parents that still want to be involved in their child’s life, and giving a gift not only makes the receiver happy but can also make the giver feel very satisfied and fulfilled to be able to give a gift that the receiver really wanted,” Wright told Newsweek.

Wish Lists Are Tech-Driven

While baby and wedding registries have long been used in society, more millennials and Gen Zers have stuck with their Christmas and birthday wish list habits, in part due to how technologically accessible they are now.

A quick search on Amazon can quickly find all the potential gifts you might enjoy for an upcoming holiday, and all your friends and family need to do is press ‘Add to Cart.’

“These lists are a great way to save time and effort when purchasing that perfect gift for someone,” Matt Calme, a financial planner at HCM Wealth Advisors & CPAs, told Newsweek. “With just a click of a button you can set up your very own wish list and share it with friends and family. All in all, I think they are a great idea for someone who is not always the best gift giver.”

But across the board, all generations have started to move toward the gift wish list based on how much easier you can make decisions about your money. Nadia Vanderhall, a financial planner at The Brands and Bands Strategy Group, said this shift emerged based on changing money and online shopping habits during the pandemic.

“Years ago, it was sort of taboo to tell people what you would want as far as a gift and many would find it a bit much,” Vanderhall told Newsweek. “Over time, especially after the pandemic, more adults are starting to tell their family and friends how to give them gifts. The pandemic did a great reset on not just how we spend money but make decisions on what we want.”

As more people become sick of getting gifts they’re unable to return or use, picking the precise item, size and cost of a gift can have its appeal.

And according to Vanderhall, it’s not solely a younger person’s prerogative. Instead, many might be inspiring their Boomer parents to create their own wish lists to make birthdays and holidays like Christmas more seamless.

“I don’t feel that it’s generational,” Vanderhall said. “I believe that those in the younger generations are inspiring Boomers and the like to not only ask for what they want but also go after it.”

This was true for Kaiser, who saw her mom start building her own wish list around the holidays.

Still, some prefer the old-time tradition of never quite knowing what lies inside a present on Christmas Day.

“When it comes to holiday wish lists, I’ll admit I’m sentimentally old-fashioned,” finance expert Michael Ryan, the founder of michaelryanmoney.com, told Newsweek. “I still have a soft spot for the childhood magic of gifts magically appearing.”

As a father of two, Ryan’s seen how wish list customs evolved, and now it’s not surprising for him to get a list via text or email with a sarcastic “Love you, Santa!” attached to the end.

“In some ways, I appreciate the practicality,” Ryan said. “By sharing exactly what gadget or gift card they’d appreciate, it takes some stress off the holiday preparations. But there’s also a nostalgia that seems lost surrounding the childhood mystery of unwrapping surprises magically picked just for you.”

As Ryan’s children are becoming young adults, the wish lists have now transformed from explicit asks to subtle suggestions, he said.

“Knowing what my son actually needs for his apartment prevents wasting money on impulse purchases,” Ryan said. “We parents want our gifts well-used.”