Mom’s Reaction to Daughter’s Engagement Ring Sparks Fury: ‘Toxic’

A woman has been branded “toxic”after reacting to news of her daughter’s engagement in a manner that left many online alarmed.

In a Reddit post upvoted over 21,000 times, the bride-to-be posting under the handle u/AnimeNerdy vented her frustrations over her mother’s reaction to the news and, more specifically, her daughter’s engagement ring.

Though many of the traditions surrounding weddings today have changed and evolved, getting the right engagement ring remains of paramount importance to most soon-to-be-wed couples.

A survey of 500 Gen Z, 500 millennials, 500 Gen X and 500 baby boomers conducted by OnePoll on behalf of Minted found that, while opinions differ on the type of ring chosen, shopping around to find exactly the right ring was important.

Respondents looked at around eight different rings on average before choosing the right one while 18 percent of those polled looked at more than 10 rings before settling on that final token of love.

In this particular instance, it’s clear that the Redditor’s fiance pulled out all the stops to find the perfect ring for her. “My (future) husband lovingly made my ring custom and even handpicked my diamond,” she wrote. “I was extremely happy.”

Unfortunately, that joy proved short-lived. A few days later, the bride-to-be’s mom told her: “I found your ring on Amazon.”

The Redditor was shocked, not because she thought the ring came from Amazon.” That’s impossible,” she explained. ” I have all the certificates etc. and he showed me the custom place it came from etc.”

What shocked her was the fact her mom had evidently been searching around for some kind of evidence to discredit her daughter’s fiance and the expensive token of love he purchased for her.

The mom’s actions left her daughter’s head spinning. “Why are people like this?” she wrote. “WHY was she looking at Amazon for rings like mine? She’s so toxic.”

She’s not alone in condemning her mom’s actions either. Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert and founder of The Protocol School of Texas, was similarly scathing.

Gottsman told Newsweek: “The most polite thing to do when someone shares special news, and, as in this case, shows you their engagement ring, is to express joy, support, and share their enthusiasm.”

She continued: “I can’t speak to why the mom went searching for the cost of the ring, but it certainly is not appropriate to tell someone, especially their daughter, that they found it ‘on the cheap,’ elsewhere.”

Gottsman’s stance was shared by many commenting on Reddit. One user wrote: “She might think she did something there, but all she did was show you something that proves she spent who knows how many hours trying to find a ring on Amazon just to annoy someone.”

Another said “She was basically trying to insult her ring, her, and her fiance at the same time” with a third adding: “If she continues to push your boundaries tell her she’s not invited to the wedding. She’ll either show her true colors or stop.”

Gottsman felt the mom ultimately needed to get her “priorities straight.”

“Love is not determined by the cost of a ring, but the kindness and loyalty of the person who is going to marry her daughter,” she said. “This relationship can be mended, but I feel fairly certain that this behavior is not isolated. An apology is definitely in order. It’s difficult to judge mom entirely on only one behavior but telling anyone, especially your own daughter they found their ring on Amazon shows a lack of sensitivity.”

Newsweek reached out to u/AnimeNerdy but could not verify the details of the incident.

If you have a family dilemma, let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured in Newsweek.