‘My Fiancé Didn’t Put Me On His Will, Now His Cousin Is Getting Everything’

Dear Newsweek,

My fiancé recently died with no will or beneficiary over his assets, or an executor of his estate.

We had dated on and off since 2007, and the relationship got serious in 2016. In 2017, he was hospitalized after being diagnosed with multiple myeloma blood cancer. I was by his side through the whole process, and we became engaged.

After a stem cell transplant in 2019, he started on chemotherapy pills, then had chemotherapy infusions, battling a variety of illnesses and other complications from the multiple myeloma. He was hospitalized in January 2023, and two weeks later passed away.

We never got married and no matter how I tried to convince him, he would not put me down as beneficiary over any assets. He kept asking what’s the rush and what was I worried about?

In January, he explained that he was going to retire, we were going to get married, and he was going to get all his affairs in order. Three weeks later he was dead because the cancer had progressed to stage 4. He knew it was rapidly progressing, but I believe he didn’t want me to worry so he never told me. However, his affairs weren’t taken care of.

He was an only child, had no children, and his parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles are all deceased. I knew he had two first cousins, one on his mom’s side and one on his dad’s side. The paternal cousin had not spoken with him in 20 years, and the maternal cousin hadn’t seen him for 18 years, but communicated with him two years ago.

As we were not married, and he had no beneficiaries listed, I cannot file in probate for any of his assets; his next of kin has to file. I contacted the maternal cousin about filing and making me the administrator. I found out there were also three maternal second cousins who are in line to inherit, despite having never met or spoken to my fiancé.

I’ve spoken with the maternal first cousin, who said she’s willing to sign over her inheritance because I was with him for 16 years, and they weren’t close. But the paternal first cousin and the three maternal second cousins want the money.

I am very upset because I was the one who was there for him, who took care of him, and the one that made sure he got buried. I took on the funeral expenses, costs to clean out the house, and covered all the utilities at his house because he meant the world to me.

If he had only listened to me and made a will, or put my name down on his assets, I wouldn’t have to deal with these cousins. I think they should all waive the right to inherit.

I found out from a probate attorney that I can file fiduciary fees as the court-appointed admin of my fiancé’s estate. Those fiduciary fees are on a scale based on total assets of the estate and not even close to 10 percent, which makes me very upset.

I’m not sure if there is anything I can do to stop these cousins from inheriting everything. I’m so frustrated and I don’t want to appear ungrateful for what I will receive as the administrator, but I honestly feel it should all be mine.

Tina, Ohio

‘My Advice Would Be To Discuss With The Cousins’

Derek Jacques is an attorney at The Mitten Law Firm in Detroit, where he handles estate planning and will preparation.

First, my condolences on the loss of your fiancé. It sounds like you were both very lucky to have found one another, and I hope you are able to find peace as you move forward in life.

When someone passes away intestate (without a will), courts are left to decide how to settle the estate of the deceased. Unfortunately, laws are a bit outdated, and they don’t accommodate for the more modern way we live today. In this instance, it is obvious your fiancé would have left you his assets, given that you were his wife, if not by the strict legal definition.

In some states, common law marriages are recognized. Unfortunately, Ohio does not recognize those entered after 1991.

Legally, the attorney you consulted with is correct, you do have the ability to apply for some remuneration for the funeral expenses. Aside from that, my advice would be to discuss this with the cousins and second cousins. Perhaps once they hear more about the relationship you had, they may be more inclined to see things from your perspective.

I wish you the best of luck and hope things work out for you as you recover from the loss.

‘You Are Entitled To Probate The Estate and Recover Certain Expenses’

Matthew Erskine is the managing partner at Erskine & Erskine law firm, specializing in estate planning.

To phrase the question in legal terms, Tina is inquiring about the enforceability of a promise to make a gift against her late fiancé’s estate. For a lifetime gift to be valid, three elements must be present: an offer of a gift by the fiancé, Tina’s acceptance of the gift, and the delivery of the property to Tina. Since there was no delivery of assets during his lifetime, a valid lifetime gift did not exist.

In the case of testamentary gifts, a written document signed by the fiancé with at least two disinterested witnesses is required. Although there may be exceptions to the witness rule, such as the recent Aretha Franklin estate decision, a written document is generally necessary.

However, you are entitled to probate the estate and recover certain expenses because, you served as the caregiver during his illness, so you’re a creditor of the estate. As a caregiver, you can seek reimbursement for expenses incurred and compensation for the time devoted to caring for your fiancé.

In your capacity as a creditor of the estate, you have the right to petition for administration and appointment as the Personal Representative. If granted this role, you can also charge a fee as the Personal Representative.

My advice is to document the time and expenses spent while caring for your fiancé, establish a reasonable rate (keeping in mind that most home health aides cost between $21 and $28 per hour), and seek legal representation to pursue the recovery of what you are owed.