Pregnant Woman Banning Mother-In-Law From Baby Cheered: ‘What Did You Do?’

A pregnant woman has been applauded online after standing up to her possessive mother-in-law who seems to believe that the her unborn child is hers, and even threw herself a baby shower to celebrate.

In a now-viral Reddit post, user u/Awkward_Nerve6154 explained that her husband’s mom “has been referring to the baby as her baby,” much to the annoyance and confusion of the parents-to-be. Awkward_Nerve6154, from Wisconsin, told Newsweek: “I don’t know why she thinks my daughter is hers. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I’m not sure where this possession of my baby stems from.”

The 33-year-old Redditor, whose baby is due in March, tried to ignore it throughout the pregnancy, but that became much more difficult at a recent baby shower—not for her, but for her mother-in-law. The Reddit post read: “I asked if I could invite my friends, and she said no, that this was for her friends, and that if my friends wanted to throw me a shower they could. I reluctantly agreed.”

Much to the poster’s horror, the gift registry she’d put together was completely ignored in favor of what her mother-in-law wanted for the baby instead. At first, the poster said she “rolled with it,” but when it was time for the gifts, she couldn’t believe her eyes.

Fortunately the Redditor’s husband was on her side and he asked his mom, “what did you do?” She told them both that she “didn’t like the theme” they’d chosen and wanted her own instead. It was out with the original floral theme, and in with a new circus motif instead.

“My baby is going to need a room at my house, so I threw a shower for myself,” she told the couple. As a result, the Redditor told her in-law that “she’s delusional” and won’t be seeing her daughter when she’s born in the spring.

Grandparents may often feel a profound sense of attachment towards their grandchildren, which licensed psychologist Dr. Deborah Gilman says can “lead to possessive behaviors.” They may have an idealized image in their mind of what it means to be a grandparent, which may be channeled obtusely.

Dr. Gilman told Newsweek: “Some grandparents might fear losing their role or influence as the primary authority figure in the family. Changes within the family structure or other grandparents vying for attention can trigger feelings of insecurity. Grandparents might have envisioned a specific level of involvement that isn’t met, leading to feelings of disappointment and possessiveness.”

For any families struggling with this dynamic, she suggests identifying boundaries and helping them shift from a hands-on parental approach to a grandparent role instead. Ultimately, they need to understand and respect the parents’ decisions, according to Dr. Gilman.

What Was The Reaction?

After posting the nightmare events on Reddit, Awkward_Nerve6154 told Newsweek that they “have not spoken” to her mother-in-law since she called the couple “selfish and ungrateful.” While there may still be bad blood between the family, many Redditors have supported the couple’s firm stance and insisted they aren’t in the wrong.

Since the post was shared on January 3, it has gained more than 12,000 votes and over 2,800 comments on Reddit. One comment read: “I’m really sorry this is happening, but please take all the precautions everyone is advising you on.”

Another person responded: “What the heck did I just read? Like, just how creepy can your MIL get? She’s pretty much trying to steal your child from you.”

While one Reddit user wrote: “I think there’s a difference between my as endearment and as ownership, it just depends on the context. In terms of this post, there definitely seems to be boundaries being overstepped.”

If you have a family dilemma, let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.