Reason Woman Walked Out in the Middle of First Date Cheered—’I Was Furious’

A woman who walked out in the middle of a first date with a long-time admirer has been backed online over her drastic actions.

In a Reddit post from earlier this month that has since been deleted, a 25-year-old woman detailed why she “got up and left” midway through a dinner with a 30-year-old man who she had been talking to for several months after matching on a dating app.

But while her actions initially appeared harsh, once the details of what unfolded came to light, many felt she had made the right decision in walking out.

A significant proportion of Americans are turning to online dating as a means of meeting that special someone. According to a 2023 Pew Research Center report, three in 10 U.S. adults currently use dating apps.

It’s not been an entirely positive experience though. While the majority of men polled (57 percent) described their experiences of dating online as “positive” women were much less convinced with 51 percent describing it as “negative.”

The woman sharing her story to Reddit is likely to fall firmly into the negative category. According to her Reddit post, their first date after six months of back-and-forth online was initially going “pretty well” up until the moment he dropped a huge bombshell on her.

“I was attracted to him, he looked really handsome and he was nice,” she said. “Until he mentioned he had two children by an ex-girlfriend.”

The woman was stunned as he had failed to previously “disclose” this to her. “I was furious because he wasted my time just stringing me along,” she wrote. According to the post, her date told her he had given up his visitation rights that weekend so they could meet.

She was far from impressed though, telling her date it was “not cool” to “spring” this information on her and that she “was not looking to be a stepmom” at this point in her life. Though he insisted that was not what he was looking for, she told him bluntly she wanted nothing to do with “a bunch of kids that aren’t mine.”

At that point she said “bye” before leaving abruptly. He later messaged her telling her she would “be single forever” and in a few more years time would be “crying” with her cats. The woman was left wondering if she had gone too far in walking out on her date.

Caitlin Opland, a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in relationships, coping skills, and life transitions, with Thriveworks in Littleton, Colorado, told Newsweek: “Anger and frustration are very natural responses when we feel deceived, however the hope is to be able to regulate those emotions to where those thoughts don’t influence our behaviors enough to be harmful. The woman was likely being responsive and letting her emotions dictate her behavior.”

She added: “In an ideal world, once the woman found out about the children, knowing she did not want that in a partner at this time, she simply could have said, ‘that is such an exciting part of your life! I want you to know that I’m not really in that place in my life right now, but if it’s okay, I would like to finish our date together?'”

However, Opland felt the man could have communicated his family baggage sooner into their conversations together.

“It could have gone something like, ‘Hi, we have been texting, chatting for a few weeks now, and I want to share something with you that’s a pretty important piece of my life. Nothing scary, just important,'” she said. “He would have the opportunity to share minimal information if the woman was interested to know more, making sure his personal boundaries are kept in place and he could also take his time with how much he was willing to share.”

Reddit Users React

But while Opland felt a degree of blame could be apportioned to both parties, many on Reddit were less forgiving of the man’s actions.

“He purposefully hid it hoping that once you got to know him, you’d change your mind about kids,” one Reddit user wrote.

Another commented: “A person with kids should be telling people up front.”

A third user posted: “I’d take being single with cats over being with a liar deadbeat dad any day, there’s worse things than being single and that’s being tricked into being a stepmom.”

A fourth added: “You are wrong for texting with someone for 6 months without having met. That’s a recipe for wasted effort and time. An hour in person will tell you infinitely more than 6 months of texting.”

Have you noticed any red flags that made you end a relationship? Let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.