Many parents worry about the relationship their children have with technology, from the time they spend looking at screens to their interactions on social media. A therapist has shared how she allows her kids to have access to it, but with firm boundaries.
Andrea Brambila, a therapist and mom of two, posted the video on Instagram. In the clip, she names the five “non-negotiable” rules for her children: No personal devices in rooms with closed doors; no cell phones before age 12; no social media before 16; screens are the smallest part of their day; and they should communicate via tech as they would in real life.
In the caption, Brambila explained her decision: “There is absolutely nothing ‘inherently evil’ about technology. At least in my opinion. All the concerns around technology stem from the way it is used. Which means as parents, we have the opportunity to set limits that feel right for us.
Andrea Brambila/Instagram
“As a therapist, I’ve paid very close attention to how the overuse and early introduction of technology has impacted kids. And I’m 100% willing to set limits in order to protect my kids. Because all of the emerging evidence points to the fact that developing brains are at a much greater risk for experiencing the negative consequences of technology.”
She added that she allows access that makes sense. She wrote: “My son enjoys playing games with his friends. So we allow it. With boundaries. There’s times that he has access and times he doesn’t. And there’s boundaries around communicating with strangers. If these boundaries are broken, the natural consequence is games are limited.”
Another way Brambila enforces these rules is by explaining them to the children. “We tell our kids why we have these boundaries set,” she said in the caption. “My son has a strong understanding of the rationale. Does he always like the boundaries? No. But he at least understands why they’re in place.”
She added: “Will we have to continue to evolve our approach as our kids get older? Of course. But honestly, we lean into the strong relationship we’ve built with our kids. And their friends.”
Commenters have agreed with the boundaries Brambila puts in place. One wrote: “Love this! Boggles my mind that children have cell phones by 12.”
According to a recent survey by the UK Children’s Commissioner, 65 percent of 8 to 12-year-olds use a social media platform and 91 percent of 13 to 18-year-olds do so. The underage use of social media platforms is widespread, the research found.
Parents are concerned about the content children can access online. The poll found 67 percent of parents (and 74 percent with children aged 8 to 11) are concerned about the nature of content their children are exposed to online. Another study by Internet Matters found parents are also concerned about screen time putting a strain on their children’s physical health, sleep and concentration. However, the majority of parents use online safety tools.
If you have a parenting dilemma, let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured in Newsweek.
Uncommon Knowledge
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Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.