They Said Ballet Isn’t for Men. Most Friends Stopped Talking to Me

I was around five years old when I fell in love with dancing. I just really enjoyed dancing in general, not specifically ballet.

The first time I saw someone dancing ballet was when my mother and I were looking up videos of dancers on her phone.

I thought it was really cool and they were doing things I felt that I wanted to do.

They were doing turns and going through classes, and some were trying different styles like contemporary dance, and all sorts of different movements. It was inspiring.

From there, I joined a ballet school and really enjoyed it, and decided to carry on going.

Before the video of me dancing ballet in Nigeria went viral on social media back in June 2020, life was pretty normal, but focused on dancing. I’d go to school and then in the evenings and weekends I’d go to my dance lessons.

The day the video was filmed, I wasn’t really meant to be in my ballet school. I think I had a day off because it was a busy week.

But I was bored, so I decided to go in anyway. We were practicing outside in the rain and decided to film what I was doing.

My dance teacher posted it to Instagram and at that point, everything seemed normal.

Then it started going viral, which was surprising and shocking. It didn’t feel real. You wouldn’t really expect a video you just dancing to go viral.

But at some point, I had to get on with it and accept that this was really happening.

My family and friends were very surprised by the attention. It was a huge thing. I know my mother was really proud of me.

Since then, I’ve moved to Elmhurst Ballet School, a vocational dance school in Birmingham, England. The biggest change in moving there from Nigeria was being away from all my family. But also the weather.

I was missing my family, so I had to find time to message and call them, but also try not to let that distance make me feel really down.

I think to myself: Okay, I’m here to dance. That’s what I’ve always wanted to do. I decided to get on with my life and to make my own path. I’m coping really well.

I’ve surrounded myself with good and supportive people. I’ve got a really good friend two years above me called Andre who has been very helpful when I’m missing home.

The biggest challenge I’ve had to overcome so far is not listening to the negative comments around me. That was actually a really big challenge.

When I started dancing, a lot of people didn’t like it. They made me question myself and think that perhaps I shouldn’t be dancing.

They said ballet wasn’t for men and shouldn’t be happening in Nigeria. Most of my friends at school stopped talking to me and ignored me. I felt so alone.

But I also had my mother there. She encouraged me to keep going and reminded me that it was always something I have wanted to do and so shouldn’t give up now. I managed to get myself back up.

Now, Disney has made a documentary about me. I want viewers to take away the message that no matter what they want to do in life, they should go for it and not listen to what other people have to say unless it’s to encourage you.

Just get on with it. At the end of the day, it’s what you want to do, isn’t it? You should think about yourself and you should never give up on your dreams.

I don’t have a massive aspiration right now. I just want to be really good at my dancing and improve.

I’m focused on the now. Thinking too much about the future can be a big distraction.

Dancing may stay a big part of my life. But during filming for the documentary, I saw a lot of other things that interested me, and made me think I had options beyond dancing—like acting.

Anthony Madu is a dancer and the star of the documentary Madu, which debuted on Disney+ on March 29, 2024.

All views expressed are the author’s own.

As told to Shane Croucher.

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