Is being shy a trauma response? One woman thinks that it certainly could be, and has attributed her own past “shyness” to being a mislabeled response to trauma.
The woman took to TikTok on March 16 to share that she’d come to the “realization” that being shy was never part of her personality, and that this perceived shyness was a trauma response instead.
“Realizing being shy was never my personality, it was a trauma response and an identity that people projected onto me for years,” the woman, who goes by @cleosharkie on the platform, said.
Newsweek reached out to @cleosharkie for more information via TikTok.
The woman has amassed over 39.8 million likes on the platform to date for her content that’s often posted in the form of a short anecdote against an aesthetic, soft-focused backdrop.
Is Shyness A Trauma Response?
With more than 530,000 TikTokers resonating with the creator through likes and comments, Newsweek sought the insight of board-certified psychiatrist Cassandra Bodruch to verify whether shyness is really a trauma response.
“Shyness itself is not necessarily a trauma response, as it can be influenced by a variety of factors such as genetics, temperament, and socialization. However, in some cases, shyness can be a coping mechanism or a response to past experiences of trauma or adverse social interactions,” Bodruch, who is also the chief medical officer of PsychPlus, told Newsweek.
She continued: “For example, someone who has experienced bullying or social rejection may develop shyness as a way to protect themselves from further harm or as a learned behavior to avoid potentially threatening situations. In such cases, shyness may be a response to an underlying trauma, but it’s important to consider individual differences and context when assessing the relationship between shyness and trauma.”
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The comments section of the post has become home to an outpouring of vulnerability, where users have seconded the creator and opened up about how their own perceived shyness was in fact their way of coping with something much heavier that had affected them.
“People called me shy? Like, I have social anxiety and trauma, I am not shy at all,” one user wrote.
Another user added: “I’m not quiet, I’m scared.”
“I’m introverted, probably. But I’m not shy. I love meeting and talking to new people, but my friends and family keep assuming that I’m shy,” a third user shared.
“I am shy, but I also choose not to speak because I am always spoken over,” a different TikToker voiced.
Another user commented: “I am actually such a loud person, but I’m afraid to express myself fully, because of what happened to me. I’m scared of speaking out and arguing, and generally some people. I hate when [people] call me shy.”
“I want to talk, so much, but I’m just muted by trauma and anxiety. I do enjoy time alone but just because the fear goes away,” a different user wrote.
“I wanna talk to people at work, I really do. I just have so much anxiety to the point my mind races and I feel exposed and anxious every time I open my mouth,” another TikToker added while one more user continued, “this is so true.”
‘Trauma Can Manifest In Many Ways’
Bodruch defines a trauma response as being a “psychological and physiological reaction that occurs following exposure to a traumatic event”.
“Trauma responses can manifest in various ways, including emotional, cognitive, and physical symptoms. Emotional symptoms may include feelings of fear, anxiety, sadness, anger, or numbness,” she said.
“Cognitive symptoms may involve intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, difficulty concentrating, or memory problems. While, physiological symptoms can include increased heart rate, sweating, trembling, or hyperventilation.”
These responses can be automatic, difficult to prevent and overwhelming, with a big impact an individual’s ability to function in daily life. Trauma responses can vary in intensity and duration depending on factors such as the nature of the trauma, individual resilience, and available support systems.
Therapy and other forms of support can help individuals cope with and recover from trauma.
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Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.