A Reddit post detailing a family dinner dilemma has users debating social etiquette.
In a post on Reddit’s Am I the A******? (AITA) forum, user u/Historical_Reply_805 shared that she and her husband left their daughter-in-law to finish her meal alone after she was late for his 60th birthday dinner.
According to the original poster (OP), her daughter’s wife, Elizabeth, arrived late to the dinner due to a work-related issue. She joined the family at the restaurant when everyone else was already starting dessert. Offering apologies and a gift, Elizabeth proceeded to order dinner while others were finishing their meals.
As the evening progressed and the majority of the guests were ready to leave, OP and her husband also decided to depart, leaving Elizabeth to finish her meal alone.
The post generated a flurry of responses, with Reddit users divided over whether OP was in the wrong for leaving before Elizabeth finished eating.
Some users expressed sympathy towards OP, arguing that Elizabeth’s late arrival and subsequent order of a full meal were inconsiderate given the circumstances. They asserted that it was reasonable for OP to leave once the majority of the guests were ready to depart.
“After the group has eaten the main course, a late arrival has effectively missed dinner and should not expect to order and eat. It was pushy and rude of Elizabeth to expect to eat, let alone have anyone wait for her,” u/TraditionalYam wrote.
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“If you show up late while people are eating dessert, you order dessert and ask your meal to go,” u/Fluffy-Scheme7704 wrote.
Other commenters criticized OP’s decision to leave, suggesting that it was rude and disrespectful to abandon Elizabeth mid-meal. They contended that OP should have waited for Elizabeth to finish eating out of courtesy and consideration for her daughter-in-law.
“She didn’t just blow you off, she got called into work which typically means an emergency. It also sounds like you left without saying goodbye,” u/ApprehensiveBook4214 wrote. “A****** move. Even if it’s late, even if you’re angry she was late you don’t just leave.”
The debate also touched on broader issues of communication and conflict resolution within families, with some users suggesting that the situation could have been handled differently through open dialogue and compromise.
“I’m confused as to why a table full of adults couldn’t have just had a quick conversation about this. For instance, Elizabeth could’ve asked if anyone minded if she went ahead and ordered dinner. Or, you could’ve let her know she was welcome to get dinner but you weren’t planning on staying much longer,” u/Dependent-Sign2407 said.
Ultimately, the Reddit post acted as a catalyst for discussions around social etiquette and family conflict, with many concluding that “Everyone Sucks Here,” or “ESH.”
OP said she and her daughter did have an argument about the incident the next day, and that her daughter insisted she should have stayed until everybody was done with their meal.
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Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.