Why Mom Told Ex He ‘Should’ve Thought Harder’ About Second Baby Backed

A woman has been cheered online after sharing why she told her ex-partner that he should have “thought twice” before having a second baby with another woman.

Redditor u/dramatic-currency289 detailed on the Am I The A******* subreddit why she ended up confronting her former flame over his new child and what she said in the heated exchange.

Readers online raced to applaud her after the February 1 post went viral.

“My ex and I have a 13-year-old daughter, Nicole. She has several medical conditions that require a lot of attention and will need some sort of in-home assistance for the rest of her life,” the woman wrote on Reddit.

“While we have an aide to help a couple of days a week, it is still a challenge. The outcome of Nicole’s condition became clear when she was 2 years old. At that point, my ex and I agreed we wouldn’t have more kids because it wouldn’t be fair to anyone. There’d be no way we could focus attention on two kids,” she said.

“We divorced when Nicole was 5 years old. We originally had 50/50 custody. My ex remarried. His new wife, Callie, is nice. My ex did say that she didn’t understand the severity of Nicole’s condition. Last year, my ex and Callie had a baby. I was a little surprised, given my ex was always firm on not having more kids, but figured it wasn’t any of my business,” she added.

The woman went on to say that her ex-husband quickly began to complain about the level of work required to juggle Nicole’s needs with that of the new baby.

“I sympathized but really didn’t know what else to say,” the Redditor wrote.

“Recently, the venting got worse. He said that Callie yelled at him for taking Nicole to her physical therapy appointment instead of helping her with the baby. He brought up potentially having Nicole stay with me more.

“I said that Nicole was his daughter and that he can’t just abandon that responsibility. He asked what he was supposed to do about the baby. I said, ‘maybe you should’ve thought of that before you procreated?’ I mean, really, we discussed this years ago.”

The Redditor added that the conversation ended with her threatening to call her lawyer to arrange for her ex to have less custody, as she’d “rather her daughter be properly cared for than viewed as a burden.”

“Callie called me that night very upset that I had made my ex cry and that I said her baby shouldn’t exist. I said that’s not what I said completely, more that they didn’t think it through. She called me a jerk,” she wrote.

‘She Had a Right to Express Her Feelings’

“This situation is deeply saddening, and Nicole and her mother will be the ones most affected by it. It appears that Nicole’s father acted to appease his new wife while also perhaps assuming that sharing custody would alleviate any difficulties in meeting Nicole’s ongoing needs,” Rachel Goldberg, a licensed marriage and family therapist told Newsweek.

“The author rightly expresses her feelings that her ex should have taken more consideration and discussed this matter with her before starting a new family.

“While Callie’s actions may seem inconsiderate in some respects, ultimately, the responsibility for the situation lies with the father. Consequently, Nicole will have to adjust to spending less time with her father and may experience feelings of rejection as a result. Fortunately, she has the support of a thoughtful and loving mother,” Goldberg said.

What do the Comments Say?

Since it was shared to Reddit on February 1 by u/dramatic-currency, the post has been upvoted by over 14,500 users and commented on more than 1,100 times. The vast majority of the users engaging with the post have backed the woman.

“You are absolutely correct to hold him accountable, especially if Nicole has the mental capacity to be aware she’s being shut out,” one person commented.

Another Redditor said: “I hope that OP has a good lawyer who can make sure her ex pays absolutely as much as he can afford for respite care. What, nothing left to cover a sitter for date night with Callie? Too bad, so sad.”

“Definitely include a mandatory trust he has to pay into for care post adulthood. So they can’t pull a ‘she’s an adult now, so we’re keeping all our money for the other kid,'” one Redditor commented.

Newsweek reached out to u/dramatic-currency289 via Reddit for comment.

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