A woman was surprised to discover the five-word name her husband has for her in his phone.
The way people talk to their partner can give away a lot about the health of their relationship, in more ways than most might realize. Nicknames, for example, might seem like a trivial facet of any romantic union, but the use of this so-called “insider language” is telling.
A 2010 study published in the Journal of Personal and Social Relationships examined the phenomenon further. As part of the research, 154 couples were quizzed on whether they used nicknames for one another, and if that had any correlation to how happy they were with their partner.
The results showed that those who used silly names for each other most frequently were also the most satisfied and intimate with their partner. Erin from Atlanta didn’t think her husband, Michael, had a nickname for her until recently, but that changed a few days ago.
Both Erin and Michael were talking to friends on a group chat when she happened to catch sight of his phone screen and the name he had her down as. “I don’t check his phone or anything generally, but when it lit up, the name caught my eye,” Erin said. “It was just like finding a little real-life Easter egg.”
The name on the screen read simply: “Erin love of my life.” Michael told Erin he had her down as that on his phone because it “felt weird” just to have her full, legal name, and this “made it more personal.” Erin said: “I feel like I should change mine now because it’s just his legal name.”
u/disposable_thinking_
More than that, though, this small but significant gesture made her smile and reminded Erin that, underneath the daily grind of life, they have “a really good marriage.”
“We’ve gone through a lot of hard times, though, and have been together for 12 years, so, naturally, not everything can be sweet and romantic all the time,” Erin said. “But stuff like this is what makes things last. Wanting each other to feel seen and loved and appreciated is so important.”
Erin was moved enough to share a snap of her husband’s screen to Reddit under the handle u/disposable_thinking_ where the post has been upvoted over 7,700 times. “I wasn’t necessarily trying to get the traction the post did, but I think it resonated with people because it was relatable to those in long-term relationships,” Erin said.
That was certainly reflected in the responses, with Reddit users flocking to the comments section to share similar experiences. One wrote: “When my wife and I started dating she changed her name in my phone to ‘The Best Girl in the World.’ It has been like that for the last 12 years. I don’t think it’ll ever change at this point.”
A second commented: “My wife has been in my phone as Hot Blonde Spanish Class since day one. Some explaining was required when my father in law saw that the first time.”
A third user added: “My wife is listed as WifeName, queen of all she surveys. Sometimes I have her call my lost phone. The call announces her name and we both get a laugh.”
The screenname and the responses generated have been heartening for Erin. “With everything bad that’s going on in the world, it’s nice to find things to smile about, even something as small as a contact name,” she said.
Have you noticed any red flags that made you end a relationship? Let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
Uncommon Knowledge
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Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.