Woman Backed for Refusing To Attend Stepsister’s Baby Shower—’Zero Desire’

A woman has received a sea of support from strangers online after explaining why she has point-blank refused to attend her stepsister’s baby shower.

In a Reddit post shared under the handle u/TelephoneBest4133, the 26-year-old described her relationship with her mom as “never good,” and revealed her dad won full-custody when she was 13.

“My mom was supposed to go to therapy and classes before the courts attempted to try reunification therapy for us,” she wrote. “But she never took those steps so we never did the therapy together (and won’t, I have zero desire to be part of her life).”

Since then, the mom re-married a man with a daughter, who longed for siblings. However, the original poster wasn’t willing to take on a sister role as she barely had a bond with her maternal side.

“I wasn’t interested then and I’m not today,” she wrote. “I don’t hate the girl but simply put we are not family.”

Fast forward to three weeks ago, she received an invitation to her 18-year-old stepsister’s baby shower and she stated she could not attend. It was then followed by two more invites and messages.

“She told me not to bring a gift, just me, because I would be the real gift,” she wrote. “I told her I was not interested again and then I blocked her.”

The expectant mom was determined to change her mind and “begged” on another platform.

“She said it wasn’t too late for us to be sisters and for me to be her baby’s aunt,” she wrote.

The woman continued to decline and has been told she was being “cruel” by her maternal grandparents. However, Reddit users disagree and the post shared on April 22, has amassed 6,400 upvotes.

‘It Takes a Village To Raise a Child’

Newsweek reached out to Ana Aznar, a child psychologist and the founder of Rec Parenting, an online platform supporting parents and caregivers.

She said: “They say that it takes a village to raise a child because it does. From this perspective, the behavior of the stepsister mentioned in this Reddit post, makes sense.

“It is normal for a new mom to want a strong support system around her and her child. And family tends to be the primary support system for many people. Family provide us with a sense of identity and belonging. And it can be an important source of emotional support.”

Aznar, who is based in London, England, explained that all children need at least one caregiver that provides them with stability, safety and unconditional love.

“Children who establish this type of relationship with their main caregiver are more likely to do well through life. However, children benefit from having other significant adults in their lives: aunts, uncles, and grandparents,” she said.

“The type of relationship that the child establishes with each of these people is different, and they learn different things from them. Perhaps this is why the stepsister discussed in the post is so insistent in welcoming her sister back into her life. The more caring and loving people that her child can have around her, the better.”

Reddit Reacts

The post has received almost 1,000 comments and the top comment has 6,300 upvotes.

It said: “I’m curious why your step sister is so fixated on having a relationship with you. It’s not like you were around much, doted on her then disappeared. Why is it so important to family that you fulfill this person’s fantasy of what a sister is like. It seems like step sister built up this relationship in her mind without any fact or even time spent together.

“Like teens are fixated on famous people and insist their idols reciprocate the relationship. You seem to have no more relationship with stepsister than you have with check out person at Target and it fascinates me as to why sister insists you need to have a relationship. Step Sister needs therapy to realize you do not owe her a relationship.”

“NTA. You are [basically] strangers. I get she wants a sister. But you are within your rights to not want to be one to a stranger,” said another user.

The OP agreed: “That’s how I see it. We didn’t grow up together, we had hardly any contact and had none for years now.”

If you have a family dilemma, let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.