Internet users are divided over a woman’s desire to ask her friend to hand back a wedding gift that she had given to her prior to her recent breakup.
The woman wrote on Reddit that her friend and her fiancé had called it quits, just a month before the pal was due to walk down the aisle. However, the poster added that her upmarket wedding gift is still with the one-time bride-to-be. The woman then wrote that she has asked her friend to return the expensive wedding gift she had gifted her in the lead-up to the big day.
While some Reddit users have shown empathy and understanding to the woman, the majority remain divided over whether asking for a gift to be returned during an emotionally sensitive time is the right thing to do.
“It truly is a devastating time for her and I’ve been as supportive as possible through it all,” the woman wrote on Reddit, after sharing that her friend had been cheated on.
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“She has been one of my closest friends for the past 15 years and she is basically a sister to me,” the poster added.
The woman wrote that, due to the pair’s close friendship, she had gifted her a $4,500 lounge chair for her upcoming wedding. She is now keen to ask for it back.
“I’m fortunate to be able to afford this, but it’s still quite a lot [of money]. She was ugly crying when I told her about it and she was extremely grateful for it. However, now that the wedding is called off, I’m not sure what to do. I could still use that money if I were to get it back,” the woman added.
Expert Opinion
Jan Yager is an adjunct associate professor at John Jay College of Criminal Justice, a public university in New York. Yager specializes in friendship, having dedicated her sociology thesis and a number of books to this form of human relationship.
“This woman’s friend is dealing with the loss of her fiancé and the cancellation of her wedding. If she is the devoted friend for 15 years that she says she is, her friend should not also have to now deal with the loss of this amazing chair or giving her friend the cash value of the chair,” Yager told Newsweek.
“The chair was a gift to her friend, and although the initial reason for the gift, her engagement, is no longer valid, if the friendship is strong, she should let her friend keep the chair,” Yager added.
The sociologist said that the friends who are advising the woman to ask for the chair back or the money equivalent may not be thinking about the potential unintended consequences of that action, even if it seems to make sense to do that since the engagement and wedding were canceled.
What Do the Comments Say?
Since it was shared on November 14 by u/ElevenRecompense, the Reddit post has been upvoted by 93 percent of the users who engaged with it and commented on more than 1,300 times.
One user wrote: “She should return it, but you would be an a****** to ask.”
“As much as the money would be helpful for OP [the original poster] and etiquette is that friend returns any wedding gifts, the idea of asking for it to be returned makes me cringe,” another added.
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Uncommon Knowledge
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Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.