Bride Shares ‘Controversial’ Wedding Choices, Internet Says Thank You

A woman online is pushing back against unspoken norms for weddings.

In a viral video posted by Ceara Kirkpatrick (@cearakirk), the bride-to-be shared things she is doing for her wedding that some deem controversial, like having a destination wedding and getting married over a holiday weekend. Kirkpatrick, 28, told Newsweek about the inspiration behind her decisions and why, despite pushback, she is determined to do things the way she wants.

“Controversial things I’m actually doing for my May 2024 wedding,” she captioned the clip, which she made as a response to a satirical video she had posted earlier on the same topic.

While in the previous video, Kirkpatrick made some hilarious claims—like flying away in a hot-air balloon and opting for karaoke instead of a professional musician—her recent video reveals the more realistic, but still debatable choices she has opted for while planning her wedding.

These include: having an uneven number of bridesmaids and groomsmen; having a destination bachelorette party; having a destination wedding; and getting married over a holiday weekend. Kirkpatrick said that she is also redesigning her mom’s old wedding dress to put a new spin on it.

“I don’t think I ever realized how many things with a wedding are pretty standard until I was planning my own,” Kirkpatrick said. “Weddings typically have the same songs played, the same general format for the day of ceremony… if there’s something that I think works better for me personally, who cares if I don’t follow the standard rulebook?”

Kirkpatrick added that she understands the potential downsides to some of the things she is doing, too. Having uneven numbers in a wedding party makes it harder to stage photos, and destination celebrations can be costly and cumbersome for guests.

However, keeping it local was never really an option for her, anyway.

“The backlash comes from people who argue it’s better to ‘have the bachelorette party local’, so that your friends don’t have to spend money to travel for the party. However, with our world being more spread out and people having friends all around the country, this isn’t realistic anymore for many people,” Kirkpatrick said.

“I had seven girls come on my bachelorette trip, and all seven live in different cities… If I had chosen a ‘local’ bachelorette party, six of them would have still had to fly in and pay for travel.

“My thinking was, ‘Why not make it a destination that everyone wants to spend their money on, instead of something that’s just more convenient for me?'” Kirkpatrick said.

Her friends were more excited to book a ticket to Puerto Rico, she said, than St. Louis where she lives.

Kirkpatrick said she is also looking forward to her destination wedding, which will be held in Charleston, South Carolina. While destination weddings are a “controversial topic online”, she added, travel is a part of her identity as a photographer and content creator in the travel and tourism industry,

And, finally, Kirkpatrick opted for Memorial Day weekend, so that her guests could actually have time to enjoy the destination and make their own vacation out of the trip.

“This was honestly something I was super excited to do because my parents got married over a holiday weekend 30 years ago,” she said. “They also had a Sunday wedding as most people have Monday off for the holiday.”

Looking Ahead With the Internet on Her Side

Kirkpatrick said that, despite knowing her decisions were controversial as far as normal weddings go, she has received overwhelmingly positive feedback to her video.

“I think people are happy to see people doing things outside the box,” Kirkpatrick added. “I know that for me… I love when a bride or groom comes up with a fresh take on a wedding tradition. There aren’t any official rules for how to do a wedding, so I say everyone embrace what feels good to them and what they want to do.”

Kirkpatrick said she is excited for her wedding of over 100 guests who are flying to Charleston to celebrate the union.

“I’m excited to celebrate the love story of my fiancé and I, and at the same time, experience the magic of traveling with everyone we love. Travel brings about so many special memories, and it’ll be so special to have these locations and destinations as things that remind us of our wedding, and not just our day-to-day life.”