Fury As Man Gives Honest Answer to Wife’s Question, She Files For Divorce

A woman is filing for divorce from her husband after he gave a painfully honest answer to a question she posed during marriage counseling.

But while the man has been left stunned by his wife’s reaction, when he shared his version of events to Reddit under the handle u/TemppThrowawa, there was little sympathy.

Most married couples trust their other half to tell the truth. A Pew Research Center study found that 68 percent of married people polled believed their partner always tells them the truth.

But are there ever any circumstances where it might be better to protect their feelings and tell a lie? That’s the question many reading u/TemppThrowawa’s post have been left wondering.

According to the post, the man and his wife had been going to counseling but, until recently, she had been “very reluctant to open up.” That all changed during their most recent session however, when she asked him: ” Did you find me attractive when we met?”

The man said he “didn’t know what to say” to this question. “I think that she’s the most beautiful woman I know but did I immediately think that when I met her? No, I didn’t really find her attractive.”

According to the post, when they first met she was not exactly his “type” but was “so lovable and sweet” that it did not take him long to “fall for her.” He didn’t sugarcoat his response. “I told her the truth,” the man wrote.

His wife did not react well. “She cried and said that she herself didn’t know why she was so hurt and crying,” he said. “The fact that the one person she wanted to be found the most beautiful girl in the world by, didn’t think that..that’s what made her sad.”

Though she initially apologized for “making a big deal out of something this trivial,” a few days later his wife said she did not want to remain married to him as “something broke inside of her” when he made that admission.

The man has been left in shock, claiming that much of the family is “angry” with his wife over the decision.

Commenting on the situation, Nona Kelly a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in relationships, divorce/breakups and life transition with Thriveworks based out in Nashville, told Newsweek: “The wife asked a specific question and asked for a completely honest response, while in the therapy session. When someone asks for a specific truthful answer we have one of two options, that is to tell the truth or to lie. The couple were in therapy to repair the relationship, so therefore I’m thinking that the husband felt the correct thing to do would be honest.”

In those circumstances Kelly said “the husband was justified in answering as honestly as he could about his initial attraction to her,” but that the wife also “had the right to feel sad.”

Kelly suspected the wife’s “feelings of sadness may not have been completely connected to their marriage” and may be linked to feelings of inadequacy that predate their relationship. Despite this, Kelly said “there’s only so much we can do” when someone decides to end things. “The husband could offer to continue doing couples counseling to work through this even if they are separated. However, it’s up to the wife to be responsible for her wounds that may have never healed properly from the other relationship.”

While Kelly felt the situation was largely beyond the husband’s control, many on Reddit said he could have avoided it by giving a different response.

One Redditor likened the husband’s answer to “punching yourself in the face” when a simple response of “I think you get more beautiful every day” would have sufficed. Another described his answer as “word vomit” and claimed he was “asking for a divorce” with his response. A third slammed him for having “zero filter” with a fourth adding: “Your wife is struggling and you keep putting your foot in your mouth.”

Newsweek reached out to u/TemppThrowawa but was unable to verify the details of the case.

Have you noticed any red flags that made you end a relationship? Let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.